Confronting the Past
by SevernayaSweetheart
Summary: Robin never talks about his past. Sure, everyone knows he used to run with Batman, but what about before that? What happens when a very important, emotional day comes around? Will Robin be able to cope? Tears abound. RobStar. T for possible cursing later.


Robin couldn't help but stare, masked eyes wide, at the calendar tacked to the wall in front of him. It was _that day_ again. He knew this day was coming; it came around every year. He had been preparing for it all week. Before he went to sleep the night before, he gave himself a warning about the day ahead. But even after all of his precautions, nothing could stop his emotions from sneaking around his façade. He hadn't realized it until a single tear fell through his mask that his throat had been closing and his eyes had been welling up. He quickly tore off his mask and wiped his eyes furiously with a gloved hand. Putting his mask back on, he walked over to his mirror to make sure it wasn't obvious that he had been crying. Looking at his reflection, he reached up and stroked his mask. His mother had made it for him years ago.

A knock was heard at the door. "Robin?" It was Starfire's voice. "Are you coming out for the breakfast?"

Clearing his throat, Robin said, "I'll be out in a minute, Star." He dismissed the alien girl and took a minute to ready himself for facing his teammates. He had never told anyone about his past except the people who already knew about it.

Surveying the scene, Robin observed that everyone was already sitting down, enjoying some of Cyborg's waffles. Cyborg made the best waffles any of the Titans had ever tasted. Cyborg and Beast Boy were discussing some new video game, Starfire was blabbing to Raven about shopping or something, and Raven had her head buried in a book, obviously not paying attention to Starfire. Everything was perfectly normal. This eased Robin's mind a little and took it off the horrifying memory that kept replaying in his head. He smiled a little and sat down between Beast Boy and Starfire.

"Good morning friend! We are so glad you could join us for the breakfast on this glorious morning!" Starfire shouted while hugging Robin.

"Morning, Star," he said quickly and quietly.

"What was that?" Beast Boy asked suspiciously.

"What?" Robin asked.

"That terribly quick 'good morning', if you can even call it that?" he questioned.

Had Robin's façade already broken? Not even three words and Beast Boy had figured him out? No, Beast Boy wasn't _that_ good. "Sorry, I'm just tired," he said with an unsure tone in his voice. Raven raised an eyebrow and glanced at him while keeping her nose in her book.

"Rough night?" Cyborg asked while shoving four waffles down his throat.

"I guess you could say that," Robin's voice trailed off as though he had more to say, even though he had finished his sentence.

"Is there anything you wish to talk about?" Starfire asked.

Robin looked down at his plate of untouched waffles. "No." And with that, he stood up and walked away.

"Hey, where ya goin'?" Beast Boy called out.

Robin didn't answer. Instead, he walked at a steady pace to the doors of the main room, watched them slide open, walked through, waited for them to slide shut, then bolted down the hall. He couldn't do it. His façade was cracking with every word he spoke. He ran into his room and slammed his body down onto his bed. He was breathing heavily, but he wouldn't let himself cry. He stood up and made his way to his closet. He pulled a shoe box off the top shelf and set it down on his bed. Removing the lid, he revealed pictures, posters, and tickets, which were all pieces of his former life. Before he could take a good look at any of his memories, there was a knock at the door. Robin quickly recovered the box and placed it back on the shelf. He opened the door to reveal Raven, looking monotonous as ever.

"Everything alright?" she asked while trying to smile.

Robin sighed. "Yeah, everything's fine. Sorry about that."

"What was _that _all about, anyway?" she asked, suddenly sounding a tiny bit concerned.

"N-nothing, I just… I don't wanna talk about it," he said while walking back into his room, hoping she'd leave. Instead she just followed him inside.

"Do you remember when I didn't want to tell you about what was going on between my father and I, and you said 'You've been inside my head, let me inside yours'?" she asked.

"Yes, and you still wouldn't tell me," he said, not facing her.

"That's not my point. Let me explain. When I was inside your head, I saw something a little… disturbing."

"…What did you see?" he asked, turning around and displaying a worried look.

"I saw what appeared to be a circus act. Two people were flying around on trapezes, until-"

"Until the cables disengaged. Then, the man and the woman fell to their deaths in front of an entire audience and…" he cut himself short, not wanting to give anything else away. Raven just stared at him. The room was silent for a good two minutes until Raven spoke up.

"Robin, were you in the audience when you witnessed this tragedy?" she asked.

"Something like that," he said while facing away from her again.

"Does that memory have anything to do with why you're acting so-"

"Can you leave my room?" he asked suddenly. Not harshly, just suddenly.

"Well, sure but-"

"Raven, I… I just need to be alone right now," he said with an uncharacteristically shaky voice. Instead of hearing her voice, he heard his door open and shut. And he was alone. Even though it was what he asked for, he never wanted to be alone. Ever since that day, he had longed for the embrace of a loved one. Ever since that day, he had been alone.

He looked up at the shoe box on the shelf in his closet. He had decided not to open it again, for he did not want to cry. Though in spite of his efforts, tears began to well in his eyes again. Facing defeat, he slumped down against a wall and let loose. He ripped off his mask and let the tears flow. He silently sobbed for what felt like hours, but was really only minutes. Every now and then, an occasional whimper passed his lips, but he knew no one was listening, so it was okay. Or so he thought.

On the other side of the door, Raven was still standing there. She had been listening to him the whole time. It wasn't in her nature to invade other people's privacy, but this was Robin, the team leader. If the leader wasn't strong, the whole team could fall apart, so she had a right to worry. She listened to him sob and whimper softly and felt her own heart break. A tear slid down her cheek and she quickly covered her mouth with her hands to prevent sound from escaping. She stood up and ran silently towards her room. She passed Beast Boy in the hall, though she barely noticed him as she ran by.

"Raven, you okay?" he called after her, but she had already made it around the corner. "Something weird is going on," he said to himself while continuing to make his way to Robin's room.

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><p><strong>AN: My first TT fic, don't be hatin'. I know that Robin's originis explained in TTG issue 47, but I haven't read it yet, so here's my story. Don't spoil it for me!**


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